The follow has been reported in various news media upon the initial court appearance of Jared Loughner in Federal Court in Phoenix, AZ today the following...
..."Jon Sands, the federal public defender for Arizona, wrote in the motion that qualified local public defenders either declined to take the case or found conflicts of interest in representing Loughner and therefore must step aside.
"Given the gravity of the charges, the possibility of the death penalty, and our discussions with the U.S. Attorney’s office concerning the charges, we believe that death-qualified counsel must be appointed," Sands says in the motion."....
So what does this mean? Well it means this...."The suspect in a deadly Arizona shooting is being held without bail and has been assigned a lawyer who defended Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Timothy McVeigh."
OK , I have no problem with this individual having his day in court, and being afforded right to counsel, and being presumed innocent until proven guilty as our Constitution provides for. These are basic rights afford to all citizens and even non citizens by this country and these rights were put forth into the Constitution some 200+ years ago by our "Founding Fathers" and it's is one of the "blocks" which make our nation great...
However, since the Founding Father's wrote the Constitution much has evolved to the point now that our Judicial System has turned into an absolute "circus"....
I believe that Loughner has a right to a lawyer and that lawyer should and must be competent. Based upon the gravity of the charges would he be eligible for bail? No. Obviously he is a threat or danger to society so therefore he should be held without bail until trial.
Now this is where the Judicial system will become the "Circus"...
His attorney will obviously try and put forth a defense to avoid the death penalty. Insanity will be probably the way to go. After all, that is the only remote chance she has and I didn't go to Harvard Law School to see this....
She will begin acting in his behalf just as the Federal prosecutors will begin putting together their case to convict him and I would be shocked if the death penalty wasn't asked for.
One note here is the fact that every lawyer in the Federal Public Defenders office has taken a "pass" on this case. Really because of "conflicts" or the "declining to take this case"?. How about because they are smart enough to realize that there is no way in hell they could get this guy off!!!!!! Yes, everyone is presumed innocent as a basic preamble to being found guilty. However, let's take a brief review of the "facts" as they exist before hand.
***Was he at the scene of the shooting? YES!!!
***Is is he owner of the handgun used in the shooting? YES!!!
***Are there independent witness who will be able to testify that they saw him shoot these people? YES!!!
***Was he the individual who was observed shooting these people and subsequently subdued at the scene by several bystanders? YES!!!
Now, once of the basic tenants in the judicial system is an individual charged with a crime must be found guilty beyond a "reasonable doubt" (with beyond "reasonable doubt" being what the normal person would reach a conclusion when presented with the facts or evidence in the case...)
Now, if I haven't made my case for the guilt of this individual to this point based upon my my four points of facts then perhaps I am being the one unreasonable here. From my years in law enforcement I believe based upon those fur facts there is a preponderance of evidence to convict this individual....but if these isn't then let me just move forward another couple of "degrees" here....
Will the forensic investigations well as subsequent investigation produce additional evidence to support intent? More than likely.... YES!!!! Investigations usually do and one of this magnitude will leave nothing unturned.
Now, lets get back to his defense lawyer. It will be her goal to show "insanity" a a defense to avoid the death penalty and allow her defendant to live his life out somewhere locked up until he does take his last breath something that 6 people as of Saturday morning are now denied, including one 9 year old girl who had many many years ahead of her to live.
So the "circus" that will now play out will consist of many motions put forth by his attorney to show that in fact he was insane, supported by court order psychiatric evaluations and expert testimony to support these claims countered by evidence to show that he was in fact "sane" at the time by the prosecution, although on "first blush" one might think a "normal" person wouldn't pre-meditate killing any person, let alone planning on killing as many as possible for no valid reason. However, people do kill for a variety of reason without a bonifide reason or purpose simply because we as a species are that way.
So this who judicial process will now carry on for months upon months and probably for several years until he is eventually found guilty. However, that will only be the beginning, since in all likelihood he will be found guilty and sentenced to death. This will kick in the next phase of the "circus". The appeal process followed by the fact that for whatever reason be it the media attention, the fact that one of his victims was a federal judge that this individual could not possibly get a fair trial. So the "circus" will continue not for months but for years and years before it finally ends in all likelihood with his execution. Only then will this circus be over.
In all likelyhood the years will pass by and I will finally myself be dead and buried before he is....it will be that long of a process.
But let me take this back to perhaps what the process should be when the Founding Fathers wrote this into the Constitution...
She he have a speedy trial? YES,
A trial by jury? YES
Should he be able to confront his accusers? YES
Should the evidence be put forth to show his guilt or innocence? YES
So why can this all be done within a reasonable time frame. Not months upon month stretching into years, but say within 6 months. Shouldn't his lawyer be able to do what she needs to do within this time frame??? I would think so. After all she will be getting paid a very good salary for being his legal counsel.
Then once he is convicted if in fact he is. Then one appeal should be allowed and this appeal should take no more than 6 months to heard and reviewed. Then once a judgement is rendered and if in fact it is determined that he is guilty then the sentence should stand and if it involves the death penalty then have it carried out 2 weeks after the final decision is returned.
I would really like to see a judge with a big set of "C O JONES" say at the arrangement in the next month or so to the attorneys involved on both sides...prosecution and defense, the following...
"I am going to set this for trial in 6 months ...have your case ready for trial"...
"Prepare your motions to be heard in 3-4 months"...
I will set one day for the prosecution to present their case and I will set one day for the defense to put on their case"....then I'll set one day for the jury to deliberate the facts of this case".
Simple and to the point.
If we did it that way I think we'd be doing the judicial process the way the Founding Fathers thought it should be and not the way the judicial system has turned into the "three Ring Circus" it is now....
At least this is what I think "From Where I sit".....
Monday, January 10, 2011
"Congresswoman shot in AZ.".... continued...
It's been a couple of days since this tragic event. I have tried very hard not to follow it in the medium, except for very brief update on the condition of the congresswoman Gifford. Why? Simply for this reason....everyone has some opinion about this event. Why it happened, the causes that lead up to the gunman's shooting all those people. The minute details of the investigation and this report and that report for every news station both local as well as all the major national stations including CNN and Fox.
As usual in events like this each station MUST report from every "angle" that exists...for better reporting ??? I think not. For "entertainment" YES!....Now I'm not talking "entertainment" as we usually consider entertainment", but rather "entertainment in keeping the average viewer "glued" to the TV for the next "important fact or report".
On Saturday morning there was a shooting in Tuscon AZ at a meeting of Congresswoman Gifford for her constituents. There were multiple persons shot and 6 were killed as well multiple victims shot totaling 18 victims. There was one shooter who was apprehended by several bystanders and subdued at the scene.
What these facts tell me is that more than likely he acted alone. Was someone who had some planned "purpose" to go there and shoot as many people as he could and more than likely "targeted" the Gifford and shot whoever else he could in the process. For whatever reason he planned this really isn't all that meaningful to me simply because whatever "reason" it was in his mind was of no "value" to me. Any action where someone plans in advance to go and shoot as many people as he can does not even remotely carry any justification aside from the shooter himself...and obviously his opinion doesn't count as far as I am concerned.
Why do I need to know what every person thinks on this event? I don't. What I need to know and probably can deduce from my intelligence is this.
***The shooter hand an "agenda" that focused on Congresswoman Gifford first and others secondly. This was well planned and meditated on for some time. The "why" is somewhat inconsequential in that it would hold no validity to any human being aside from the shooter himself to validate this heinous act against humanity.
***The shooter used a semi-automatic handgun. Had to to get that many shots off a quickly as he could. He wouldn't have been able to do so with a 5 shot or 6 shot revolver.
***The shooter was a very good shot. He knew how to handle that weapon and was very experienced with it. He would have to be because a person must possess a certain 'skill" with a firearm to be able to quickly shoot that many people and a) hit them and b) do so under an extreme "adrenal rush" which he would be under prior to firing his weapon and after the first person was shot. In addition, he was able to shot a total of 18 people within a few seconds before being subdued. He would have had to reload at least once with his Glock since a Glock only holds at most 15 rounds in a magazine.
***The shooter had to shoot at moving targets as well since after the first shot or several shots people would be ducking for cover and fleeing from him. It also re-enforces the fact that he was a good shot because god I know how difficult it is to shoot at a moving target under stress. ( I need to be corrected here...since I wrote this I learned he had a 30 round clip...so I stand corrected)
Now maybe I am able to gather these aspects of what happened based on my years of experience in police work. Having been on many shooting scenes, I understand how these things take place and the little known facts that make up a crime scene. But with all the cop shows and previous stories of mass shootings one would imagine that we as a culture would have been well learned in mass shooting events by now.
The simple point to all of this tragedy is this. We have over and over and over again experienced events similar to this past Saturday yet it still happens. We as a collective society express dismay at "how something like this could happen" only to see it happen again and again. Every high ranking politician appears on camera to express their views and pledge to do everything within their power to prevent from ever happening again. The truth of the matter is nothing can be done to prevent these types of events from occurring. No amount of legislation can be created and voted on...no banning of weapons from the public possession, new laws or any other actions can be created that will prevent this from happening. It is a simple fact here that regardless of what laws exist, or how much protection is given to anyone be it a President, or Congress person or celebrity anyone who is determined can and more likely be able to be the next mass killer if they so desire. It's been that way since the first recorded homicide when Cain killed Abel. We as a human species have this ability that other creatures below us do not possess and that is the ability to kill for now valid reason.
So I don't need to sit before a TV and let this reporter or this newscaster go from person to person and hear every little detail that each one can bring to the screen simply to be informed. I am not one that needs to know every minute detail of the event from this past Saturday. For I already know that as unfortunate as it is "again" as it was the last time an event like this took place the same basic facts will be the cause of an event like this taking place and that is the tragedy here...the fact that we as the most intelligent of all species on this planet haven't been able to evolve to the point that we can respect each other as human beings and stop all of this senseless killing of another person or persons for no valid reason. I am sure that God is sitting somewhere thinking to Himself "and this is what I created when I made man"? At least this is what I think "From Where I Sit"....
As usual in events like this each station MUST report from every "angle" that exists...for better reporting ??? I think not. For "entertainment" YES!....Now I'm not talking "entertainment" as we usually consider entertainment", but rather "entertainment in keeping the average viewer "glued" to the TV for the next "important fact or report".
On Saturday morning there was a shooting in Tuscon AZ at a meeting of Congresswoman Gifford for her constituents. There were multiple persons shot and 6 were killed as well multiple victims shot totaling 18 victims. There was one shooter who was apprehended by several bystanders and subdued at the scene.
What these facts tell me is that more than likely he acted alone. Was someone who had some planned "purpose" to go there and shoot as many people as he could and more than likely "targeted" the Gifford and shot whoever else he could in the process. For whatever reason he planned this really isn't all that meaningful to me simply because whatever "reason" it was in his mind was of no "value" to me. Any action where someone plans in advance to go and shoot as many people as he can does not even remotely carry any justification aside from the shooter himself...and obviously his opinion doesn't count as far as I am concerned.
Why do I need to know what every person thinks on this event? I don't. What I need to know and probably can deduce from my intelligence is this.
***The shooter hand an "agenda" that focused on Congresswoman Gifford first and others secondly. This was well planned and meditated on for some time. The "why" is somewhat inconsequential in that it would hold no validity to any human being aside from the shooter himself to validate this heinous act against humanity.
***The shooter used a semi-automatic handgun. Had to to get that many shots off a quickly as he could. He wouldn't have been able to do so with a 5 shot or 6 shot revolver.
***The shooter was a very good shot. He knew how to handle that weapon and was very experienced with it. He would have to be because a person must possess a certain 'skill" with a firearm to be able to quickly shoot that many people and a) hit them and b) do so under an extreme "adrenal rush" which he would be under prior to firing his weapon and after the first person was shot. In addition, he was able to shot a total of 18 people within a few seconds before being subdued. He would have had to reload at least once with his Glock since a Glock only holds at most 15 rounds in a magazine.
***The shooter had to shoot at moving targets as well since after the first shot or several shots people would be ducking for cover and fleeing from him. It also re-enforces the fact that he was a good shot because god I know how difficult it is to shoot at a moving target under stress. ( I need to be corrected here...since I wrote this I learned he had a 30 round clip...so I stand corrected)
Now maybe I am able to gather these aspects of what happened based on my years of experience in police work. Having been on many shooting scenes, I understand how these things take place and the little known facts that make up a crime scene. But with all the cop shows and previous stories of mass shootings one would imagine that we as a culture would have been well learned in mass shooting events by now.
The simple point to all of this tragedy is this. We have over and over and over again experienced events similar to this past Saturday yet it still happens. We as a collective society express dismay at "how something like this could happen" only to see it happen again and again. Every high ranking politician appears on camera to express their views and pledge to do everything within their power to prevent from ever happening again. The truth of the matter is nothing can be done to prevent these types of events from occurring. No amount of legislation can be created and voted on...no banning of weapons from the public possession, new laws or any other actions can be created that will prevent this from happening. It is a simple fact here that regardless of what laws exist, or how much protection is given to anyone be it a President, or Congress person or celebrity anyone who is determined can and more likely be able to be the next mass killer if they so desire. It's been that way since the first recorded homicide when Cain killed Abel. We as a human species have this ability that other creatures below us do not possess and that is the ability to kill for now valid reason.
So I don't need to sit before a TV and let this reporter or this newscaster go from person to person and hear every little detail that each one can bring to the screen simply to be informed. I am not one that needs to know every minute detail of the event from this past Saturday. For I already know that as unfortunate as it is "again" as it was the last time an event like this took place the same basic facts will be the cause of an event like this taking place and that is the tragedy here...the fact that we as the most intelligent of all species on this planet haven't been able to evolve to the point that we can respect each other as human beings and stop all of this senseless killing of another person or persons for no valid reason. I am sure that God is sitting somewhere thinking to Himself "and this is what I created when I made man"? At least this is what I think "From Where I Sit"....
Saturday, January 8, 2011
"Congresswoman shot in AZ."....
As unfortunate a situation this is and I sincerely hope that the Congresswoman Giffords survives this terrible event, it isn't something that should be all that surprising to any of us. Why??? Presidents and Presidential candidates have been shot and killed before. So someone shooting at a congressional member isn't out of the realm of possibilities. Particularly as the economic and political climate is today within this country. To put it as simple as possible...there's a whole lot of hostility out there at government and the politicians that make up that political body.
The average "Joe" out there is feeling the impact of the economic climate and there are a lot of people who are suffering financially as well as being put in very precarious situation involving their jobs, their family and who sense of well being. Does it make it right or justified???? Absolutely not!!! and in no way am I or will I offer any remote justification here for this action.
All I will say is with the climate that exists in this county this action doesn't surprise me nor am I shocked by it. Personally I'm surprised it hasn't happened previously.
Having been in law enforcement for so many years we are always mindful that all it takes is "one nut with a gun to make a situation go to shit real quick" and today that appears to be the case.
There will be news coverage on this not only in a complete, manner as it should be, but it will be taken far beyond and reported on from every single angle with numerous "talking heads" offering their individual opinions, thoughts and Monday morning quarterbacking that will simply be over the top.
There will be so many "there should have been" or "how could this have happened" and then there will be calls for gun control and increased security and a host of other "to prevent this from ever happening again, we need to do this (fill in the blank)_________ and we need this done (fill in the blank)_________ and this should be outlawed (fill in the blanks)____________ and every politician will express grief, sorrow and shock at Congresswoman's Gifford's shooting, but deep down "they'll also think but for the grace of god that could be me".
Every day or nite that I got ready to go to work as a police officer and when I put on my gun belt and thought as part of my preparation to go to work I would think "be prepared"!!!!. After all, I was strapping on a gun and part of my training was to be able to kill people. That gun on my right hand side of my gun belt wasn't there to keep me balanced from the gear on the left side of my gun belt toppling me over now!!!! We as individuals as well as politicians need to realize this....we live in a violent world now a days and have been for eons...and we need to keep in mind "worse case scenario" taking place. Most of us don't most of us don't think this could ever happen to them. So they don't prepare for that event that may come to us from out of nowhere.
As unfortunate as today's tragic event is, let it serve to all of us that none of us are immuned from being of a victim as she was today. The world is full of "loose nuts", evil people, and those who are so angry that events like this will sure to be a "copied cat" situation again....they usually are.
Just remember, you never know when a situation is likely to go really bad really quick....be prepared and plan ahead....for if it were to happen, planning will not be possible...you'll at best only be able to "react" and how you plan an event like this is how you'll re-act. That's "rule 101" in police officer training..."you'll re-act as your last "training taught you"...and that will determine if you live or die...
Condolences to those who have dies and prayers and well wishes to those injuried.
The average "Joe" out there is feeling the impact of the economic climate and there are a lot of people who are suffering financially as well as being put in very precarious situation involving their jobs, their family and who sense of well being. Does it make it right or justified???? Absolutely not!!! and in no way am I or will I offer any remote justification here for this action.
All I will say is with the climate that exists in this county this action doesn't surprise me nor am I shocked by it. Personally I'm surprised it hasn't happened previously.
Having been in law enforcement for so many years we are always mindful that all it takes is "one nut with a gun to make a situation go to shit real quick" and today that appears to be the case.
There will be news coverage on this not only in a complete, manner as it should be, but it will be taken far beyond and reported on from every single angle with numerous "talking heads" offering their individual opinions, thoughts and Monday morning quarterbacking that will simply be over the top.
There will be so many "there should have been" or "how could this have happened" and then there will be calls for gun control and increased security and a host of other "to prevent this from ever happening again, we need to do this (fill in the blank)_________ and we need this done (fill in the blank)_________ and this should be outlawed (fill in the blanks)____________ and every politician will express grief, sorrow and shock at Congresswoman's Gifford's shooting, but deep down "they'll also think but for the grace of god that could be me".
Every day or nite that I got ready to go to work as a police officer and when I put on my gun belt and thought as part of my preparation to go to work I would think "be prepared"!!!!. After all, I was strapping on a gun and part of my training was to be able to kill people. That gun on my right hand side of my gun belt wasn't there to keep me balanced from the gear on the left side of my gun belt toppling me over now!!!! We as individuals as well as politicians need to realize this....we live in a violent world now a days and have been for eons...and we need to keep in mind "worse case scenario" taking place. Most of us don't most of us don't think this could ever happen to them. So they don't prepare for that event that may come to us from out of nowhere.
As unfortunate as today's tragic event is, let it serve to all of us that none of us are immuned from being of a victim as she was today. The world is full of "loose nuts", evil people, and those who are so angry that events like this will sure to be a "copied cat" situation again....they usually are.
Just remember, you never know when a situation is likely to go really bad really quick....be prepared and plan ahead....for if it were to happen, planning will not be possible...you'll at best only be able to "react" and how you plan an event like this is how you'll re-act. That's "rule 101" in police officer training..."you'll re-act as your last "training taught you"...and that will determine if you live or die...
Condolences to those who have dies and prayers and well wishes to those injuried.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Why would you ever want to dress as a female? Are you gay?
If your a male who enjoys dressing in female clothing that is a question that a majority of people are inclined to ask of you once they discover that you dress as a female. However, the answer is far from that point of one being gay...in fact, being "gay" has no more to do with "dressing" since about 95% of cross dressers indicate that they are heterosexual in any sexual relationships their in either with girlfriends or with wives.
The fact that one has this desire to dress "en femme" is a far more complex issue(s) for all of us "girls". For me I've dwelled on the reasons why I have chosen to be a cross dresser or transvestite or whatever label one wants to put on me. But my reason may not apply to all the other cross dressers out there because there are many reasons as to why someone would want to dress in female clothing or more accurately dress a a female since dressing is more involved than "just a desire to dress in women's clothing.
So let me put forth the reasons why I dress.
First of all I am bisexual. I state this because this is an important reason as to why I dress. I discovered some 20 years ago that I do enjoy being sexual with a male. I enjoy it as much as being sexual with a female. I can engage with both sexes without any conflicts. However, how I engage with a female is different than how I engage with a male. With a female I perform as a male and with a male I perform as a female. In other words with a female I am the male but with another male I take on the female role and not a male role. With a male I have no desire to perform with him as a male. I only have an interest to perform on him as a female would perform on a male in a heterosexual. So what does this mean??
Well after the first time I engaged with a male and that was my first experience and it was arranged by my wife early on in our relationship, by the way. With this first male experience nothing was predetermined as to who would do what...it simply happened and I discovered what it was like to be fucked. It was me on the receiving end as I had performed with a number of females in a heterosexual fashion. It was engaging in anal sex. Although for me with a guy I was "having my cherry popped" if was as if I was having sex all over again for the first time as he inserted her erection in me. I allowed myself to experience what it felt like being "fucked up the ass" and I loved it and I wanted to do it again. That was the allowing myself to step into the "gay world" ...but not as a gay person since I still enjoyed females, so what that made me is simply a bisexual person.
Now there are a lot of guys out there that will emphatically deny that they have any homosexual tendencies. However, I suspect there are a lot more guys out there who simply hold in any desire to be with a guy only because society's taboo beliefs about homosexuality be it as a bisexual male or as a gay male. They simply deny any acceptance of homosexuality in any shape or form period. But one point I will make is this....if a poll is taken of what most straight guys they would say watching two females getting it on is their #1 sexual fantasy. They (heterosexual males) disclaim any desire in homosexuality as it pertains to themselves, but find homosexuality between to females to be their number one sexual fantasy...ironic now isn't that????
However, I only make this point in an effort to explain how my desire to dress as a female has come about..and that's through my bisexuality and how I had to do much reflecting from within to come to this conclusion.
I have a male side and I have a female side. In both side of myself sexually I engage in what to me are heterosexual experiences. As a male I perform with a female in a heterosexual fashion...and with a male I perform as a female and have no desire to perform as a male with another male. In other words I enjoy doing those things with a male that females enjoy doing with males in a heterosexual encounter. Performing orally on a male or allowing a male to mount me from behind just as many males do with a female and as I have done with a number of females who enjoyed being fucked anal. Both ways be it as a male with a female or a female with a male are considered "normal".
So what did or does all if this mean to me in my own sexuality? Simply this....I have both a male side or tendency as well as a female side or tendency...or simply this. I am one of those individuals who considers themselves to be of a duel gender or bi-gender. Now as I have evolved in this thought process I have come to this conclusion. I am perfectly happy and content with this bi-gender self....I have acknowledged my female side, I have accepted my female side and I have validated my female side both with my bisexuality as well as my dressing.
I will continue in my next blog the thought process that has lead me to discover my feminine side, not only as it relates to my sexuality, but also as it relates to my female gender and how this has evolved into my dressing.
I have found or should I say discovered that my validation has come from not only a biological point, but also from a spiritual as well as an emotional perspective. I am not going to say this should work for you if your a cross dresser, but rather this is what has worked for me. It's just a point of view that I have developed "from where I sit"....
...to be continued....
The fact that one has this desire to dress "en femme" is a far more complex issue(s) for all of us "girls". For me I've dwelled on the reasons why I have chosen to be a cross dresser or transvestite or whatever label one wants to put on me. But my reason may not apply to all the other cross dressers out there because there are many reasons as to why someone would want to dress in female clothing or more accurately dress a a female since dressing is more involved than "just a desire to dress in women's clothing.
So let me put forth the reasons why I dress.
First of all I am bisexual. I state this because this is an important reason as to why I dress. I discovered some 20 years ago that I do enjoy being sexual with a male. I enjoy it as much as being sexual with a female. I can engage with both sexes without any conflicts. However, how I engage with a female is different than how I engage with a male. With a female I perform as a male and with a male I perform as a female. In other words with a female I am the male but with another male I take on the female role and not a male role. With a male I have no desire to perform with him as a male. I only have an interest to perform on him as a female would perform on a male in a heterosexual. So what does this mean??
Well after the first time I engaged with a male and that was my first experience and it was arranged by my wife early on in our relationship, by the way. With this first male experience nothing was predetermined as to who would do what...it simply happened and I discovered what it was like to be fucked. It was me on the receiving end as I had performed with a number of females in a heterosexual fashion. It was engaging in anal sex. Although for me with a guy I was "having my cherry popped" if was as if I was having sex all over again for the first time as he inserted her erection in me. I allowed myself to experience what it felt like being "fucked up the ass" and I loved it and I wanted to do it again. That was the allowing myself to step into the "gay world" ...but not as a gay person since I still enjoyed females, so what that made me is simply a bisexual person.
Now there are a lot of guys out there that will emphatically deny that they have any homosexual tendencies. However, I suspect there are a lot more guys out there who simply hold in any desire to be with a guy only because society's taboo beliefs about homosexuality be it as a bisexual male or as a gay male. They simply deny any acceptance of homosexuality in any shape or form period. But one point I will make is this....if a poll is taken of what most straight guys they would say watching two females getting it on is their #1 sexual fantasy. They (heterosexual males) disclaim any desire in homosexuality as it pertains to themselves, but find homosexuality between to females to be their number one sexual fantasy...ironic now isn't that????
However, I only make this point in an effort to explain how my desire to dress as a female has come about..and that's through my bisexuality and how I had to do much reflecting from within to come to this conclusion.
I have a male side and I have a female side. In both side of myself sexually I engage in what to me are heterosexual experiences. As a male I perform with a female in a heterosexual fashion...and with a male I perform as a female and have no desire to perform as a male with another male. In other words I enjoy doing those things with a male that females enjoy doing with males in a heterosexual encounter. Performing orally on a male or allowing a male to mount me from behind just as many males do with a female and as I have done with a number of females who enjoyed being fucked anal. Both ways be it as a male with a female or a female with a male are considered "normal".
So what did or does all if this mean to me in my own sexuality? Simply this....I have both a male side or tendency as well as a female side or tendency...or simply this. I am one of those individuals who considers themselves to be of a duel gender or bi-gender. Now as I have evolved in this thought process I have come to this conclusion. I am perfectly happy and content with this bi-gender self....I have acknowledged my female side, I have accepted my female side and I have validated my female side both with my bisexuality as well as my dressing.
I will continue in my next blog the thought process that has lead me to discover my feminine side, not only as it relates to my sexuality, but also as it relates to my female gender and how this has evolved into my dressing.
I have found or should I say discovered that my validation has come from not only a biological point, but also from a spiritual as well as an emotional perspective. I am not going to say this should work for you if your a cross dresser, but rather this is what has worked for me. It's just a point of view that I have developed "from where I sit"....
...to be continued....
Friday, December 31, 2010
Ring out the "Old" and welcome in the "NEW"....
There's just a handful of hours left in 2010 before we all celebrate the new 2011 year in.
First of all I hope everyone celebrates they're New Year in a safe and happy manner and at worse will only be dealing with a a hangover and nothing more serious. Being a retired police officer I have worked my share of New Years Eves and have had to handle a number of serious crashes along the way and they're no fun at at all. So don't think your immune to driving with a significant level of intoxication and think "nothing will happen to me" attitude.
New Year's is always that time when the holidays whine down, football games galore and a time to turn in that old calender that's been hanging on the wall or door somewhere for the new calender.
It is also a time I have found to reflect back on the year that was and see how it went. What achievements were gained and what was lost. For most of us, it usually is within this parameter, that our or your year has been and for me and my wife was true.
We said goodbye to two of our long and faithful dogs Lobo, a Siberian Husky and Tiny, a Toy Rat Terrier. Lobo was a beautiful black and white with blue eyes boy that we had for about 13 and years and Tiny was my wife's favorite dog who was with us the longest at over 15 years. The last three she was blind and diabetic, but did remarkably well with those conditions. Both passed on us within 16 days of each other this past October. Lobo died at home here in my arms on October 12th and Tiny on October 28th when we rushed her to the Vet's after being up with her most of the nights while she began having seizures about every hour starting around 8PM the night before. There was nothing the Vet could to for her so it was time to put her down and and we did...and we both cried as we let her pass as we did when Lobo took his last breath and slide away from us.
We always knew someday our dogs would leave us but no preparing can ease the time when they do leave us and move on to the "Bridge" as in 'Rainbow Bridge' poem ( http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm )so eloquently describes. They will be missed, but they were loved greatly and will never be forgotten.
In 2010, however, we have several new pups in our lives now...Jake and Molly, two Beagles from one of our other dogs first litter, Chloe, a purebred Jack Russell Terrier (or is it terrorist???) who was given to us. Then there was Bear and Sparky from another dog we have..."CC" who had a little on the 24th of October in between Lobo's passing and Tiny's passing...and finally Noelle who was born on Dec 23rd just a bit over a week ago and the only surviving pup from a litter of 5 that Ginger had that went badly and she had to be rushed to the Vet's on the morning of the 23rd and have emergency surgery.
So you see, we have a few dogs and we've had a busy 2010 with some of them leaving us and others coming into our lives.
But with our dogs as an example so it is with life in general. There's good and bad in every one's life....there's joy and happiness as well as pain and sorrow. Very few of us have it either way exclusively now do we????
So I hope you take some time and look back at 2010 and reflect to what was....and then look forward to what 2011 will be for each one of you and hope it is filled with much happiness and little pain or sorrow...
So to one and to all I wish you a VERY healthy and Happy New Year for 2011....and look forward to getting to know you all better as the new your moves forward....
Hugs...
Stephanie
First of all I hope everyone celebrates they're New Year in a safe and happy manner and at worse will only be dealing with a a hangover and nothing more serious. Being a retired police officer I have worked my share of New Years Eves and have had to handle a number of serious crashes along the way and they're no fun at at all. So don't think your immune to driving with a significant level of intoxication and think "nothing will happen to me" attitude.
New Year's is always that time when the holidays whine down, football games galore and a time to turn in that old calender that's been hanging on the wall or door somewhere for the new calender.
It is also a time I have found to reflect back on the year that was and see how it went. What achievements were gained and what was lost. For most of us, it usually is within this parameter, that our or your year has been and for me and my wife was true.
We said goodbye to two of our long and faithful dogs Lobo, a Siberian Husky and Tiny, a Toy Rat Terrier. Lobo was a beautiful black and white with blue eyes boy that we had for about 13 and years and Tiny was my wife's favorite dog who was with us the longest at over 15 years. The last three she was blind and diabetic, but did remarkably well with those conditions. Both passed on us within 16 days of each other this past October. Lobo died at home here in my arms on October 12th and Tiny on October 28th when we rushed her to the Vet's after being up with her most of the nights while she began having seizures about every hour starting around 8PM the night before. There was nothing the Vet could to for her so it was time to put her down and and we did...and we both cried as we let her pass as we did when Lobo took his last breath and slide away from us.
We always knew someday our dogs would leave us but no preparing can ease the time when they do leave us and move on to the "Bridge" as in 'Rainbow Bridge' poem ( http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm )so eloquently describes. They will be missed, but they were loved greatly and will never be forgotten.
In 2010, however, we have several new pups in our lives now...Jake and Molly, two Beagles from one of our other dogs first litter, Chloe, a purebred Jack Russell Terrier (or is it terrorist???) who was given to us. Then there was Bear and Sparky from another dog we have..."CC" who had a little on the 24th of October in between Lobo's passing and Tiny's passing...and finally Noelle who was born on Dec 23rd just a bit over a week ago and the only surviving pup from a litter of 5 that Ginger had that went badly and she had to be rushed to the Vet's on the morning of the 23rd and have emergency surgery.
So you see, we have a few dogs and we've had a busy 2010 with some of them leaving us and others coming into our lives.
But with our dogs as an example so it is with life in general. There's good and bad in every one's life....there's joy and happiness as well as pain and sorrow. Very few of us have it either way exclusively now do we????
So I hope you take some time and look back at 2010 and reflect to what was....and then look forward to what 2011 will be for each one of you and hope it is filled with much happiness and little pain or sorrow...
So to one and to all I wish you a VERY healthy and Happy New Year for 2011....and look forward to getting to know you all better as the new your moves forward....
Hugs...
Stephanie
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
My Inagural Blog
Greetings...
To one or perhaps if I get lucky maybe to several who may take the time to ready my thoughts, comments or opinions. As the title of my blog says..."From Where I Sit" is just that....my thoughts, my opinions my views. I hope to share with you various perspectives on a variety of topics and subjects and not just on cross dressing. But a wide host of issues as they come about. I hope to stimulate conversation in both directions...from me as well as from each one of you with your comments and thoughts and opinions
I've thought for awhile about starting a blog...seems to be a trend that has been well under way for some time now and since I don't jump into trends at the onset, but rather come along after they are well established I see blogging as no different.
Yes, I am a Cross dresser....A CROSS DRESSER???? One of those perverted weirdo's who like to wear women's clothes???? Yup...one of those folks!!!! And guess what I really enjoy it and for me it's a perfectly "normal" state of being. See from where I see it from being able to be both a male as well as a female takes a very large enlightened outlook not to mention a "Huge" leap of faith and belief in one's self in order to not only be a dressers but to step out of the closet and say to others..."Hi, I'm Stephanie and I'm a cross dresser".
Now did I ever expect to be where I am now when I first started dressing??? Hell NO!!! I never imagined going outside the house let along now going out to clubs, going and getting pedicures with the wife, shopping for my femme clothes, starting an online business catering to CD'ers and TG'ers and gender females as well. So going from the very first time I dressed enfemme to now has simply been an amazing journey.
But for me it's more of the "norm" because my life in general has been amazing considering....
I've gotten to do things that 99.9% of the general population would never get to do or ever experience. It covers my professional life as well as my personal life and has had it's shares of highs as well as some very deep valley's along the way, but one thing I will say is "it sure hasn't been boring"!!!!!
I have a very good friend who knew me very well for some 20+ years and he commented that he never knew anyone who enjoyed living on the edge like I did. I use to say back to him, that "while I was on the edge, I enjoyed doing back flips" and I guess looking back I did. But for me all of this was normal...either that or I didn't know any better and maybe That's closer to the truth....I just never knew any better...I was simply living my life.
So in the coming days, weeks and months I hope to share with those who will take a few moments to read this blog and hopefully take some time and share your thoughts, comments and opinions and we can engage in some good old conversation as time goes on.
Looks forward to seeing where this blogging goes....
Stephanie
To one or perhaps if I get lucky maybe to several who may take the time to ready my thoughts, comments or opinions. As the title of my blog says..."From Where I Sit" is just that....my thoughts, my opinions my views. I hope to share with you various perspectives on a variety of topics and subjects and not just on cross dressing. But a wide host of issues as they come about. I hope to stimulate conversation in both directions...from me as well as from each one of you with your comments and thoughts and opinions
I've thought for awhile about starting a blog...seems to be a trend that has been well under way for some time now and since I don't jump into trends at the onset, but rather come along after they are well established I see blogging as no different.
Yes, I am a Cross dresser....A CROSS DRESSER???? One of those perverted weirdo's who like to wear women's clothes???? Yup...one of those folks!!!! And guess what I really enjoy it and for me it's a perfectly "normal" state of being. See from where I see it from being able to be both a male as well as a female takes a very large enlightened outlook not to mention a "Huge" leap of faith and belief in one's self in order to not only be a dressers but to step out of the closet and say to others..."Hi, I'm Stephanie and I'm a cross dresser".
Now did I ever expect to be where I am now when I first started dressing??? Hell NO!!! I never imagined going outside the house let along now going out to clubs, going and getting pedicures with the wife, shopping for my femme clothes, starting an online business catering to CD'ers and TG'ers and gender females as well. So going from the very first time I dressed enfemme to now has simply been an amazing journey.
But for me it's more of the "norm" because my life in general has been amazing considering....
I've gotten to do things that 99.9% of the general population would never get to do or ever experience. It covers my professional life as well as my personal life and has had it's shares of highs as well as some very deep valley's along the way, but one thing I will say is "it sure hasn't been boring"!!!!!
I have a very good friend who knew me very well for some 20+ years and he commented that he never knew anyone who enjoyed living on the edge like I did. I use to say back to him, that "while I was on the edge, I enjoyed doing back flips" and I guess looking back I did. But for me all of this was normal...either that or I didn't know any better and maybe That's closer to the truth....I just never knew any better...I was simply living my life.
So in the coming days, weeks and months I hope to share with those who will take a few moments to read this blog and hopefully take some time and share your thoughts, comments and opinions and we can engage in some good old conversation as time goes on.
Looks forward to seeing where this blogging goes....
Stephanie
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